Forgiveness

Today is Day 1 of the Happiness Challenge.  See my blog post about it here - it's not too late to join!

It starts with forgiveness and is something we all have to face in different ways.

The email from Luminita tells us:

REMINDER: For today, the focus is on forgiveness. When was the
last time you truly, deeply forgave someone? It can be someone in
your past or present, or it can even be yourself.

Ouch!  That last phrase hurt!

How often do we forget to forgive ourselves?

As a teacher I struggle sometimes with forgiving some of the students who seem to delight in making a lesson difficult for you and the other students in the room.

Today, in one of my lessons, I had a student who lies regularly to my direct questions.  I asked him to get out his planner and he told me that he didn't have it.  I asked another adult in the room to check with the student that he didn't have it in his bag.  It appeared that he didn't. 

Yet when I checked later on in the lesson when he told me that he hadn't sprayed his body spray (which was chokingly obvious and he was the only student near his bag!) I found him only half opening his bag and holding his planner out of the way so that it couldn't be seen!

The fact that students lie to me is not new.

Neither is the fact that they are often rather bad at lying.

As a mum and a teacher, I have heard enough lies to know when someone is trying to pull the wool over my eyes!

What really upsets me though is the fact that this student can cause regular disruption to the lesson through his lies.  Sometimes I get drawn into a backwards and forwards conversation with him - usually when I am tired or frustrated by his behaviour.

Afterwards I am cross with myself for allowing him to cause disruption yet again.

I find it difficult to forgive myself for that.

Yet I am human too.  I want to do the very best I can for these students.  They have often struggled for a long time, both in school and in the subject.

I become frustrated sometimes that they don't see or accept the help which is offered to them.

Yet I know that if I am consistent, they may realise that they did receive some help and support and one day in the future, they may thank me for it.

I love teaching, though it can be very hard work and frustrating.

Most of all I need to love myself and forgiving myself for my humanity is part of that.

Who should you forgive on this first day of the Happiness Challenge?  Let me know what you think.